Interracial relationships can reveal how differences continue to make certain people uncomfortable. From that one bigoted relative who nearly brings down the house at Christmas dinner to your friend who comments how “rude it is” for you and your partner to communicate in another language in front of her, you’ll notice that some individuals always feel pressured to offer their commentary. Interracial relationships and fertility make them uneasy, and as the news reminds us again and again, society has a long way to go towards healing from its racial traumas. Sometimes, it can feel like people want to place you at the head of that process. 


So according to national government statistics, or some sort of group masquerading as some sort of official type conglomerate, 50% of black men in this country and 35% of black women are in relationships or married to people who aren’t black. ETA – people have mentioned that I need to provide links to studies, statistic etc. so here they are) ..( (

Now I know this is a controversial topic, so I’m going to start out by apologizing to those people who are going to be offended by my opinion. Opinions are like university degrees nowadays – pretty much everyone’s got one, they’re all important in their own right, but some are more useful than others. Mine might be useless to you that is cool. 

I have to put the same disclaimer at the beginning as I initially put at the end of this piece. I am not against interracial relationships. I am simply discounting the popular narrative that interracial relationships are automatically positive for racial progress. Please re-read that.  Please, please actually read the entirety of what I’ve written instead of jumping on certain things that might rub you the wrong way.  

Firstly, it’s quite obvious that the vast numbers of black men especially dating and marrying outside their race is pathological. The fact that 50% (48% to be exact) of a group of men date or marry outside their race (primarily white women) is a clear sign of some sort of problem within that community, especially when this is not replicated by the vast majority of the male populations of other races. We can bury our heads in the sand and sing Kumbaya choruses and pretend that this is all wonderful and part of Martin Luther King’s dream, but frankly, it’s not because the reasons why it is occurring in such high numbers are not positive. 

1) Black people as a general group have deep-seated psychological issues when it comes to self-image that may affect conception. 

You only have to look at a hip-hop video, or a black rom-com to see that black people, in general, idolize beauty standards that are not ‘black’.  A large proportion of hip-hop artists are dark skinned black men. A large proportion of hip-hop video models are racially ambiguous. Looking at them, they could be black, they could be Latina or they could be a white brunette with some good fake tan. I know black guys who are as black as a pot of burnt rice who have only dated girls Beyoncé’s shade or lighter, and then have the nerve to talk some excrement about ‘preferences’ and how everyone’s entitled to them. Of course, you’re entitled to them, but if I’d been systematically brainwashed to believe that beauty was at its highest point when it was 5 shades lighter than me, then I think I’d try to revisit my preferences. 

2) Many black men and women who date interracially state that their reasons for doing so are because of issues they have with black men or women, or things that they believe other races of men and women do ‘better’. 

3) Culture and beliefs 

Each party’s culture and tradition may affect conception and fertility because of each other’s affection. Conception starts with feeling according to surveys some women make sure that they are dating the right guy as the father of their children and her lifetime partners. It is important to assure the person that we are going to commit with to avoid regrets in the future. 

At the end of the day whatever other people say we need to be firm with our decision because we are the only one who is handling our own life so, we need to be masterfully planned and carefully designed every decision we made. 


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