Have you thought of someone who will be a father of your first child? Or thinking what would be your ideal man? Have you ever tried to meet someone using free black dating sites hoping for a right guy?

All the relationship advice in the world won’t make any difference if you’re choosing the wrong guy. This is the step that often gets missed or overlooked. Women hammer away, trying to pound the proverbial square peg into a round hole, then wonder what they’re doing wrong, why they can’t seem to make it fit, why they can’t get the love they want. You can’t turn a losing stock into a winning stock. You can’t force someone to change and to want what you want. You can’t convince someone to feel a certain way about you.

We spent way too long chasing after guys who wouldn’t or couldn’t give what we wanted especially the father of our child, and then we wondered what was wrong with us when it didn’t get our lasting love! The problem was simple: We are choosing the wrong men. It sounds straightforward enough, but it’s a very tricky thing. We fall for these guys because it feels so right because we’re swept up in the passion, the chemistry, and the intoxicating aura of unavailability; we get sucked into the space that exists when someone is just beyond our reach and it makes us yearn for him. We convince ourselves that this is it, that he’s the one and we just need to make him see it.

This is where the problems develop. This is where all the questions and fears and doubt and uncertainties and fears start to consume you. You mistake these feelings for true love because maybe you’ve never felt this way before, and you think it must be because this guy is different and this relationship is meant to last.

This is just a glimpse into the confusion that ensues when you choose the wrong guy. If you’re hung up on a man who can’t commit or won’t commit or who is mean to you or who is just a mean person in general, a guy with baggage, a guy with serious issues, a guy who you think would be perfect “if only” he changed such and such, then you’re setting yourself up to lose before you even begin, and you are blocking yourself from ever finding the love you want.

You think he doesn’t take Responsibility

One of the biggest relationship red flags is when someone won’t take responsibility for anything and instead blames you, maybe using a justification along the lines of, “Well I wouldn’t yell at you if you weren’t being so annoying.” Rather than admitting when he’s wrong, he comes up with excuses and justifications for his behaviors and reasons to blame you.

One of the biggest indicators of psychopaths or sociopaths is not being able to take responsibility; it’s a fundamental lack of empathy that prevents them from ever being able to see the other person’s perspective. However, it doesn’t always start out this way. In the beginning, he’s enraptured by you and everything you do is right. Then suddenly he’s unhappy and he blames you for everything that’s wrong. If you erroneously reason that you’re the problem, he may feed this mentality. You don’t inspire him enough, you don’t give him what he needs, you aren’t supportive enough, you’re always negative. It’s always you, never him.

I’m not saying every guy who can’t take responsibility is a psycho; he could just be immature. But it is something to keep in mind because narcissists are out there and this is one of their key features. That is one of the factors that may affect women’s ability to conceive.

Moving forward we need to believe in ourselves and most especially love with tender as we grow with our own family.

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